Love Prays with Abandon

Each meal Seth and I prepare, Seth leads us in prayer. Some prayers are giving thanks, some are prayer requests for each other, for us, and always for others in are lives (and all the homeless kitties - that's Po's prayer). I have caught myself getting impatient sometimes because I want to nom nom nom our meal. I'm reminded of why we pray, how we pray. I paused today to reflect on our prayerful life together.

"Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think..." Ephesians 3:20

Christ came to give us life "in abundance" (John 10:10) because He is a God who is not limited by earthly boundaries. He can multiply loaves and fish until there is full baskets left over. There is no limit to what He can do to fulfill His purpose in your life.

This Truth pushes us to pray with boldness for the success of our marriage (and others' marriages). Go ahead - ASK BIG! Be confident that He bears "anything according to His will" (1 John 5:14) and that nothing prevents Him from doing whatever he desires, no mater how impossible it seems to us.

It is God's will that you and your spouse be totally united in mind and purpose, that you grow together in Him, and that you are enabled to serve Him with freedom and generosity. If you know of something God could do to turn these into realities, don't be afraid to ask. Leave it to Him to decide what is best, but never be left to wonder if "you do not have because you do not ask" (James 4:2).

He has taken care of tomorrow.

INSANITY + p90x: New workout schedule for the next 63 days

Pretty excited to start this workout schedule. Of course, any day can be replaced with other fun physical activity (e.g., running, gym class, rollerblading, basketball, swinging from tress). Here's a great next 2 months!

May-30	May-31	Jun-1	Jun-2	Jun-3	Jun-4	Jun-5
Plymetric Cardio Circuit	Plyometrics	Max Interval Circuit	X Stretch	Core Synergistics	Cardio Power & Resistance	Rest
Day 1	Day 2	Day 3	Day 4	Day 5	Day 6	Day 7
Jun-6	Jun-7	Jun-8	Jun-9	Jun-10	Jun-11	Jun-12
Pure Cardio	Cardio X	Max Interval Plyo	Cardio Recovery	Max Cardio Conditioning	Kenpo X	Rest
		Day 10	Day 11	Day 12	Day 13	Day 14
Jun-13	Jun-14	Jun-15	Jun-16	Jun-17	Jun-18	Jun-19
Plymetric Cardio Circuit	Plyometrics	Max Interval Circuit	Yoga X	Core Synergistics	Cardio Power & Resistance	Rest
Day 15	Day 16	Day 17	Day 18	Day 19	Day 20	Day 21
Jun-20	Jun-21	Jun-22	Jun-23	Jun-24	Jun-25	Jun-26
Pure Cardio & Ab Ripper X	Kenpo X	Max Interval Plyo	Max Recovery	VACATION	VACATION Print Out Workout	VACATION Print Out Workout
Day 22	Day 23	Day 24	Day 25	Day 26	Day 27	Day 28
Jun-27	Jun-28	Jun-29	Jun-30	Jul-1	Jul-2	Jul-3
HONEYMOON 3.0	VACATION Print Out Workout	VACATION Print Out Workout	VACATION	Core Cardio Balance	Core Cardio Balance	Rest
Day 29	Day 30	Day 31	Day 32	Day 33	Day 34	Day 35
Jul-4	Jul-5	Jul-6	Jul-7	Jul-8	Jul-9	Jul-10
Plymetric Cardio Circuit	Plyometrics	Max Interval Circuit	X Stretch	Core Synergistics	Cardio Power & Resistance	Rest
Day 36	Day 37	Day 38	Day 39	Day 40	Day 41	Day 42
Jul-11	Jul-12	Jul-13	Jul-14	Jul-15	Jul-16	Jul-17
Pure Cardio	Cardio X	Max Interval Plyo	Cardio Recovery	Max Cardio Conditioning	Kenpo X	Rest
Day 43	Day 44	Day 45	Day 46	Day 47	Day 48	Day 49
Jul-18	Jul-19	Jul-20	Jul-21	Jul-22	Jul-23	Jul-24
Plymetric Cardio Circuit	Plyometrics	Max Interval Circuit	Yoga X	Core Synergistics	Pure Cardio & Cardio Abs	Rest
Day 50	Day 51	Day 52	Day 53	Day 54	Day 55	Day 56
Jul-25	Jul-26	Jul-27	Jul-28	Jul-29	Jul-30	Jul-31
Cardio Power & Resistance	Cardio X	Max Interval Plyo	Core Cardio & Balance	Cardio X	Kenpo X	Rest
Day 57	Day 58	Day 59	Day 60	Day 61	Day 62	Day 63

Who Needs Whom?

Who Needs Whom?

by Felicia M Molano on Wednesday, February 23, 2011 at 1:33pm

God does not die when we cease to believe in a personal deity, but we die on the day when our lives cease to be illuminated by the steady radiance, renewed daily, of wonder, the source of which is beyond all reason - Dag Hammarkskjold

As you make choices, care for your family, and plot plans for the future, whose guidance are you seeking - daily? When trouble rains down and your heart is laden with sorrow, whom do you trust to see you through to better times? As fear creeps into your rare moments of silence, whom do you turn to for peace? We quickly respond with "God (or however you call your higher power), of course," because we do have faith. We know that the Creator loves us. We KNOW this. But do we LIVE as though we believe it?

Our time on this earth is amazingly precious and uncertain. Let's face it, we step out onto the front porch and we don't know what will happen next in our day. We can guess. We can hope. But we don't know. Doesn't it make sense to seek the leading of our all-knowing Creator? When we are waiting for faith to run deep in our lives, it is not because Creator needs time to become more real, more omniscient, more powerful. Creator has been Creator for a loooooong time. He isn't waiting for us to truly believe in him before he can finally get some work done in the world. When we wait to believe completely, we miss our chance to life in God's purpose. And he DOES have a purpose for you. When we leave everything to whimsy, emotion (I'm guilty of this), or our own strength, we miss out on God's leading and clarity.

The current of "unknowing" in our lives is not meant to sweep us to places of fear and failure. The unknowing is the miracle that leads us to the wonder and mystery of a God who care for us. Don't just know of God and about God; live in God. Experience the excitement and possibility lying beneath life's uncertainties when you wholly trust the known God.

I Wish You Knew

I wish I knew what kept you up late staring at the dark while chasing shadows in your mind. You're dealing with stresses others aren't even aware of, and yet you keep a brave face until you are out of public viewing and in the solitude of nightfall. You're being "brave" so that the people you are caring for don't realize that their needs are overwhelming you. You're being brave because you haven't seen an alternative to being stoic and solid and always available to others. Yet, you keep others at a distance.

I wish I knew which past hurt echoes through your soul today. You don't put it out there in conversation, even with close friends, because you think it would surprise and baffle people that the most poignant pain you ruminate over isn't the accident, illness, lose or other "defining moment" that haunts you most. I'm not surprised. I understand that seemingly small hurts are the easiest ones to carry around in your heart's pocket and revisit every free moment. 

I wish I knew what worry makes your heart skip a beat each time you step outside of your comfort zone. How the offhand comments of another leave your mouth dry and your palms shaky. I imagine you have days that ticktock along like years because your energy is spent pretending you're fine and your hope is too spent on survival of healing. 

I wish you knew how much I pray to the One who does know every bit about you and now holds you in a great, protective embrace. Maybe this would bring you comfort. Maybe this would encourage you to allow that embrace to save you along this journey.

A letter to my younger self, A letter to you, A letter for us.....

How do you take care of yourself?

In a moment of tunnel vision and, yes, self-loathing bratiness, a friend came at me with this simple question. Something I have answered with exercise for stress, anxiety, depression, sleep, healthy living, schedule, physical and spiritual balance. Take that away and I am lost. Lost to my own thoughts that aren't always accurate. So, I am reflecting on this during this empty space of time I have found myself in.

We often hear the phrase "You can't love anyone else until you love yourself" but what does "Loving yourself" really mean? Seriously! I've researched this and have tentatively come up with the following.

1. Loving yourself means taking care of your SELF. It means that you take responsibility for your well-being and happiness and figure out what you need to feel good. I am beginning to gain an appreciated for this seemingly obvious question of "What does "loving yourself" mean in real life?" Loving your "Self" means that you know how to take care of your Self. Taking care of your Self applies to both your physical and emotional self - You become your own caring, loving parent so to speak. 
2. Something I have learned years ago, and it feel necessary to add to this list, is that no one can fill that emptiness inside you - except for you. [Of course God is at the center of this, he knows you better then you know you.] Do not look to someone else to fill that "hole". It seems to me that if you are born a human, you will have a human struggle, and that struggle is about filling that emptiness inside. The emptiness that I have been feeling for the past month honestly. Every one of us deals with that emptiness and we are all faced with making peace with the process. EVERY ONE. When you expect someone else to make you happy, you are projecting your feelings of incompleteness on another and this will never work. Only you and you alone, can heal your Self. [With God's graces of course, or whom/whatever you call your higher power or Creator.]
   
3. You attract to you who you really are - this is always accurate. We always get a good match for where we are at the moment. Look at whom you are attracting and take responsibility for that "pull". Take responsibility for whatever relationship you are in. Perhaps there's a lesson that needs to be learned. For me, I tend to push people away and that is exactly what I am feeling inside, nothing. I am learning about this and trying to change that.
   
4. Ask yourself "What makes me feel good? What do I like?" You need to like yourself before you can love yourself. Figuring out what makes us feel good is a lifetime process. In order to do this, we cannot care what anyone else thinks and need to quiet all those other voices in our head other than our own. I've had that little voice as a young child living in Wapato and going to a private school in Yakima (don't fit in),  going from private school to public school (awkward and unsure), going to college (identity is grades, nothing else), not having someone to teach me girly things like getting nails done, hair, make-up (your not good enough). Those little voices creep in even now. The mind needs to be quiet. If your mind is always going, always frantic, you will never be able to figure out who YOU are. I wouldn't say that I know know who I am but I am certainly learning who I am at various stages in life. Eliminate the words "should" and "ought" from your vocabulary. (When we say we "should" do something, it is usually the opposite of what we really feel like doing.) In learning about the delicate difference between feeling like I should do something to take care of myself and what I want and can do to take care of myself. I tend to focus on the shoulds that I get tunnel vision and miss the message that there are other ways to take care of myself.
   

Anyways, not sure how to end this but it isn't really written to have a start and end. It is more of a snapshot into what is on my mind right now. We'll see where it goes.

Office Supplies + Rising of the Sun to Its Setting

“From the rising of the sun to its setting, let the name of the Lord be praised” – Psalm 113:3

Drank my pumpkin spice flavored black coffee that Seth made for me this morning. Feeling quite satisfied with what I had accomplished in my stay-cation. I deep cleaned the three bathrooms, laundry, paint a bathroom, gut and organize the pantry, completely clean the refrigerator, deal with the stock pile of recycling, trip to the dump, stock up on cleaning supplies, begin fall storage systems, learn and begin scrapbooking our wedding album, finished a book, began journaling again, scheduled a hair cut, tried new recipes, balanced checkbook toward a more efficient savings schedule, IKEA trip for new furniture and new serving wear.

Every day is like a package. I open it in the morning, the moment I wake up. Then at night, I close up all of its experiences – both the good and the bad – put them away, and prepare to open a new one again at sunrise. That’s how the Bible teaches us to look at life. We ask only for our “daily bread” (Matthew 6:11), not worry about tomorrow “because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own” (Matthew 6:34).

One of the implications of this approach is to keep your sins confessed on a daily basis. I like to call them areas of improvements or learning stones (rather than stepping stones). Also, to not let any offense done against you go unprayed for and forgiven. For those common situations then a person who has harmed you doesn’t see the harm in their actions or down plays it with a “I am sorry for that bad thing I did” or “I sorry you are so angry at me.” Pray for the person who has harmed you that they will see their learning stone, ask forgiveness, and experience the awesome process of what forGIVEness is about. This also means praying that your heart is ready to forgive when you are sincerely called upon. I believe that when people live otherwise they will wake up years later to find their hearts cluttered with a piled-up resentment. I am a great office supply lover; my heart flutters at new pens, post-its, file-folder systems, red staplers a la Office Space, etc. The freedom and friendship they want in their relationships, marriage, career, are obscured by tall stacks of wrongs, collected and cataloged by date and time.

If I want to keep bitterness and rancor out of my relationships, I ought to take a moment tonight – and every night – to square away with the most important person in my life first, Seth. And then square away in my heart all the other file folders.

Green Tea + Flaws + Song of Solomon

Drinking my green tea this morning, my finger falls down the pages of my study bible as if the words are fine jewels I’m dreaming that I could even contemplate buying. This is the feeling I get when I read the bible. I want so much to understand and ultimately may or may not.

Do not stare at me because I am dark, for the sun has gazed on me – Song of Solomon 1:6

I have read Song of Solomon in my early twenties admittedly because of the descriptive way the two lovers describes their mate’s appearance. The man is dumbstruck, stupefied, undoubtedly overtaken by her attractiveness. He sees her as beautiful – the “most beautiful of women” – S of S 1:8. She is coy and even deflated, as she admits that she has been working hard in the fields. Her skin is beyond sun kissed, it’s dark and weather-worn.  She is painfully sensitive about this; so much so that she can physically feel when people lay eyes on her and notice this that feeds into her self-consciousness.

I have this image of a bland landscape with peripheral people that are afterthoughts in this snap shot. And her, a stunning beauty with a long wayward look on her face, one arm cradling her other arm, tall and smooth and wanting nothing more than to be peripheral.

Even the most (seemingly) self-confident among us are attuned to the flaws and blemishes on our bodies. We don’t and cannot measure up to the image our culture declares most attractive. I have reruns of the season opener of ANTM “High Fashion” Cycle flash through my head; a guilty pleasure of mine. But LOVE makes us look at our spouse – flaws and all – and see the ideal we most delight in. Whatever their body shape or muscle tone, we choose to declare that this person who is uniquely ours in the perfect shape and size for us. We take whatever sensitivities they have, and we lavish them in true love. We don’t just overlook, down-play, ignore, console or reassure. We delight!