Office Supplies + Rising of the Sun to Its Setting

“From the rising of the sun to its setting, let the name of the Lord be praised” – Psalm 113:3

Drank my pumpkin spice flavored black coffee that Seth made for me this morning. Feeling quite satisfied with what I had accomplished in my stay-cation. I deep cleaned the three bathrooms, laundry, paint a bathroom, gut and organize the pantry, completely clean the refrigerator, deal with the stock pile of recycling, trip to the dump, stock up on cleaning supplies, begin fall storage systems, learn and begin scrapbooking our wedding album, finished a book, began journaling again, scheduled a hair cut, tried new recipes, balanced checkbook toward a more efficient savings schedule, IKEA trip for new furniture and new serving wear.

Every day is like a package. I open it in the morning, the moment I wake up. Then at night, I close up all of its experiences – both the good and the bad – put them away, and prepare to open a new one again at sunrise. That’s how the Bible teaches us to look at life. We ask only for our “daily bread” (Matthew 6:11), not worry about tomorrow “because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own” (Matthew 6:34).

One of the implications of this approach is to keep your sins confessed on a daily basis. I like to call them areas of improvements or learning stones (rather than stepping stones). Also, to not let any offense done against you go unprayed for and forgiven. For those common situations then a person who has harmed you doesn’t see the harm in their actions or down plays it with a “I am sorry for that bad thing I did” or “I sorry you are so angry at me.” Pray for the person who has harmed you that they will see their learning stone, ask forgiveness, and experience the awesome process of what forGIVEness is about. This also means praying that your heart is ready to forgive when you are sincerely called upon. I believe that when people live otherwise they will wake up years later to find their hearts cluttered with a piled-up resentment. I am a great office supply lover; my heart flutters at new pens, post-its, file-folder systems, red staplers a la Office Space, etc. The freedom and friendship they want in their relationships, marriage, career, are obscured by tall stacks of wrongs, collected and cataloged by date and time.

If I want to keep bitterness and rancor out of my relationships, I ought to take a moment tonight – and every night – to square away with the most important person in my life first, Seth. And then square away in my heart all the other file folders.

Green Tea + Flaws + Song of Solomon

Drinking my green tea this morning, my finger falls down the pages of my study bible as if the words are fine jewels I’m dreaming that I could even contemplate buying. This is the feeling I get when I read the bible. I want so much to understand and ultimately may or may not.

Do not stare at me because I am dark, for the sun has gazed on me – Song of Solomon 1:6

I have read Song of Solomon in my early twenties admittedly because of the descriptive way the two lovers describes their mate’s appearance. The man is dumbstruck, stupefied, undoubtedly overtaken by her attractiveness. He sees her as beautiful – the “most beautiful of women” – S of S 1:8. She is coy and even deflated, as she admits that she has been working hard in the fields. Her skin is beyond sun kissed, it’s dark and weather-worn.  She is painfully sensitive about this; so much so that she can physically feel when people lay eyes on her and notice this that feeds into her self-consciousness.

I have this image of a bland landscape with peripheral people that are afterthoughts in this snap shot. And her, a stunning beauty with a long wayward look on her face, one arm cradling her other arm, tall and smooth and wanting nothing more than to be peripheral.

Even the most (seemingly) self-confident among us are attuned to the flaws and blemishes on our bodies. We don’t and cannot measure up to the image our culture declares most attractive. I have reruns of the season opener of ANTM “High Fashion” Cycle flash through my head; a guilty pleasure of mine. But LOVE makes us look at our spouse – flaws and all – and see the ideal we most delight in. Whatever their body shape or muscle tone, we choose to declare that this person who is uniquely ours in the perfect shape and size for us. We take whatever sensitivities they have, and we lavish them in true love. We don’t just overlook, down-play, ignore, console or reassure. We delight!

Why You Should Care For Your Body - My Story

Preface - Sometimes people, readings, life events, epiphanies all collide, jell and makes sense of things.  That is what leads me to this Blog, which is actually is a very edited email I sent to a family member.

Paul’s reminder “that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor. 6:19) has a broad application: human beings are to respect and care for their body. Such attention requires physical discipline. Indeed, the apostle urges: “train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (1 Tim. 4:8). Physical discipline does have value for embodied human beings during their earthly existence. 

As some may know, I am recovering/healing from an injury.  I have been b!tching and complaining about going from my peek fitness to ziltch, nada, nothing. Doctor's orders = ONLY WALKING for 2 weeks then SLOWLY go back to light upperbody workouts...EASING back into my old routine.  My expectations were overzealous.  Tried and couldn't jog 4 steps without having to wrap myself back in the back-brace, which I need to wear for another 2 weeks. Having to work from 2.5 mi walk/jogs back to 4mi 7.5min runs and intense personalized plyo and strength training sessions.  Uhg. My point is is that I didn't realize how much and specifically WHY physical movement had become so important to my daily routine.  I found these three things interconnected.

1. It was during the year before I met Seth, when I was meeting with Deacon Larry regularly praying for guidance and God's preparation of my heart and the heart of the man that He had chosen for me.  It was then when I read Paul's reminder.  I felt that I needed to take care of myself in more ways than one.  Defining healthy living. I also, for the first time, truly listened to the words the priest always says during the blessing of the Holy Eucharist, “free us from all our anxieties, Lord.”
2. In 2006, I started running and took up a Mixed Martial Arts Class.  The instructor, who is a dear friend of ours today along side the other relationships developed, talked a lot about nurturing the physical, mental, and spiritual parts of our lives - and these are not necessarily separate projects.  I meditated on that and “free us from all our anxieties.”  Physical drag out, sweating, lovely muscle soreness, bore consequences: Physically, (a) toned changes, endurance, strength, health, illness prevention, better sleep; (b) Mental: reaching goals, mindfulness, time to take a timeout, sharpness of mind, elevated self-esteem, sense of efficacy, becoming free from my anxieties….and well the Spiritual- these things you cannot necessarily be compartmentalize these into a, b, and c.  Thank you Rob.
3. Facing my cancer scare really solidified that there is a %age of our physical well being that is in our control and another %age that is in His hands.  Somehow, when I am sore, too tired, and would rather get "stuff done" then workout, I am reminded that taking care of myself is also a Thank You to the Creator for giving me a body that moves, breaths, and loves.  That thank you is expressed through a healthy relationship with food and fitness, something I had miserably failed at for YEARS.  It brakes my heart when I read/hear about people (men and women) who are on some unnatural diet or damaging routine simply to attain a body image.  Atkins Diet, South Beach Diet, Scarsdale Diet, Ketogenic Diet, Blood-type Based Diet, Paleolithic Diet,  creatine injections, muscle milk, syntha-6, hydroxycut, high protein, white protein, low carb, clean carb, no carb, nothing after 5pm, this day, that day, cheat day, measure, weigh, rules rules rules.  They have [I had] missed the point, more importantly missing out on the awesome three-fold symbiotic relationship. [Note, I understand some people make a living being professional athletes and need to follow unnatural diets/routines or are following doctor recommendations and some version of these diets are essential for them.]

Again, working out and sports weren't something I was encouraged to do growing up for whatever reason.  I was the poetry writing, closet drawing, book attached to my hand, library rat, GPA calculating, researching fool who would run only if I was late to class – maybe.  As a young adult, I had to push myself to do something that felt ironically unnatural.  I am not a born athlete.  I am not competitive.  This injury and recovery helped open my eyes and realize that, through consistency, I made myself into an athlete [Something I NEVER considered myself).  I relish those times where I could be lost in my thoughts, prayers and conversations with my intermittent workout buddy/husband.  I can now acknowledge a healthy sense of pride that I can own.  I am unlike the person I often see running, lifting, going to spin classes, participating in intramural teams, yoga, plyo etc who was in sports growing up and throughout their athletic lives.  I had to MAKE myself an athlete and I measure myself against myself.  I thank God for his loving guidance and pray that I give myself the patience that He has for me. At 31, I will heal from this and treat my body at a temple under renovation toward wholy holy health  ; )