Thinking

Spring is a time where I think and think, get side tracked, depressed, inspired, deflated, critical, obsessed, relieved. Not in an particular order.  After going on a jog feeling irritated that my husband took my ipod and I was left with my sneaks and my thoughts. It assured to me that I am today where my thought have brought me; I will be tomorrow where my thoughts take me.

Rarely do we realize that our thoughts are just that ... our thoughts. Because we think them, we often fail to see that they are not necessarily reality. They are our view of reality at that moment...nothing less...nothing more. I often find that I will then take the original thought and embellish it, elaborate on it, and build on it, I begin to construct a house of cards which I can move into and start decorating.

Often, my mind is my worst enemy. Or, I let it be. With little effort at all I can think myself into a complete tizzy. I know, I know. We cannot actually live in the future (or past)...but...our minds can and do.

It's important to remember that our thoughts aren't real. They are processes that we can observe, find interesting, and then, let go of it we wish. We CAN think ourselves in or out of anything. It's the living that's important.

us :o)

Love is the Business of Men

God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love and sound judgment. – Timothy 1:7

When a movie is marketed as a love story, we assume it is a “chick flick.” I admit, I love a good “chick flick” with a girlfriend and a glass of wine. If plots don’t contain fighting, bleeding, or exploding, guys will typically avoid them or not admit to watching them. But real love is not merely women’s work. It’s the core of manhood, transforming men to be strong and courageous. Love is POWERFUL and can bring out the man in men.

Love makes a husband put away childish things and embrace his responsibilities to lead his family. It drives him to defend his wife, provide for his children (or future children), and even lay down his life if they become endangered. Love motivates a man to confront injustice and take passionate stand for what he believes in, like crossing an ocean to fight for his country. At minimum compels him to be a man of his word, walk his talk and be the light on the hill to guide others as they witness his marriage.

Jesus was the most loving man ever to walk the earth and remains the perfect example of manhood. With passion, He confronted evil, case out demons, and rebuke religious hypocrites. Out of love, He served sacrificially, rescued the broken hearted, and willingly died for the sins of the world. Real men embrace love as the driving force to boldly do what boys merely dream of.

I pray that I will continue to learn what real love is and make me a more loving person.

motivation

So, I obviously didn't do the whole blogging for 40 days thing. I wish I could but don't want to be tired to the computer anymore than I already have.

I have been wanting to workout more and eat healthier. Maybe this has something to do with my low confidence. No, it doesn't help any people tell me that I don't need to lose anymore weight. It isn't about the weight. I don't care about the weight - at least not in the moving down direction. I just about confidence. It is ridiculous that I have NEVER felt comfortable in a bathing suit since MAYBE grade 4. Am I wrong in striving for this? I want to feel strong, lean, and proud of a healthy body. There is sooooo much in the world that we don't have control over like cancer, war, death, accidence, other people. I want to see if I can at least control my confidence. It has to come from within me, right?

So, I am going to go to the darn gym as often as possible. I am going to run on days off. I am going to track my walks and runs with my new Nike+ SportBand. I am going to make smarter food choices. Yes, this also means I get to listen to my body and allow days of rest and indulgences too. I am not talking about deprivation. I hope that this experiment will add more to my life than take away. I am also not saying that I don't exercise enough or eat right. I just want to put the anti a bit.

Why?
Confidence (as measured by being able to wear a bathing suit I feel rockin in)
Health
Strength
Energy
Prevention
Consistency
"Walk my Talk"

backstraining business

After dim-wittingly electing to re-arrange the living room furniture while my husband was gone to Seattle one fine Sunny Saturday, I strained my lower back. I have sat on those painstakingly moved couches for 4 days. Going from my painstaking workouts to nada, zilch was turning my brain into a lava lamp. I embarrassingly admit this. I fancy that I would have used this time constructively. Nope. I did host a Superbowl party and send out Valentine letters and read my book club choice Infidel. My lack of constructive use of time sitting and sitting and sitting downward spiraled. I wouldn't say that I became depressed but I did flirt with it. Such a drastic shift in my energies. I am not writing this blog out of self-loathing, no.



I have begun to think it is time to test assumptions I make. For example, I have been lured into the idea of keeping a regular blog but never committed to it for reasons: A) for whom am I writing to; B) would I feel or come across as pompous for thinking that my ramblings are THAT important (then gasp, they might not be); C) it couldn't replace the satisfaction of pen to journal non-verbal expression; D) I truly am frustrated and embarrassed by my dyslexia (omitting words completely at times).



Now that I am gaining some normalcy in my first day after my injury to be back at work and working out I am thinking about what's next. This is bad habit of mine. I strive for goals. A friend pointed that it is because my profession doesn't have clear cut achievements or end results. I think they are right. What is next? Lent. What to sacrifice, what to add to my life, what to give away and what to pray/focus on. Honing on the add part is possibly wrighting a blog for 40 days. No direction, yet. Just simply that. Maybe at the end some of my assumptions for not blogging regularly in the past will be confirmed or dispelled.

We will see. Well, at least I will see anyhow.

To The People In My Life

To The People In My Life
March 1 2006
Current mood: lonely
Category: Friends

To The People In My Life (a co-worker sent to this me and I think I needed to hear this),

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a
lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for
that person...

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,

to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for a reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the
relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on..

Sometimes people come to your life for a SEASON, because your
turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy

BELIEVE it, it is REAL.

But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you
must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what
you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your
life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a
reason, a season or a lifetime.

And the Invites Play on...

We were going to address today but there are so many addresses that I still need to collect. I spend the entire day (starting at 8am) preparing addresses (inner and outer envelop wording) and collecting missing addresses (which will continue until mail out date, I am sure). I was also organizing the A and B list. A list are getting sent out first, family first. Then the B list, friends and co-workers.

I dropped of the invites to be printed at Kinko's Saturday, estimated time of completion was Sunday at 3pm. At 3pm there was HUGE TYPO and they closed at 5pm! This is particularly frustrating because I have been staring these and working on these for what seems like hours and days and weeks and months. I am also very self-conscious about my typos and mixing of numbers. My dyslexia has been source of shame and motivation for as since as I can remember. Well,...Our paper supplier was out of this paper. It was too late to fast order more paper from them. This required me going to two different paper stores in town. The lady at PaperZone was a guardian angel! Very helpful. I left with a whole ream. I raced home to make the edits, save the as PDF files, copy to a jumpdrive. I found myself going back to Kinko's for them to convert, print and cut AGAIN. I got it done just in time by 5PM on the dot! [Seth was snowboarding and Amy was bowling.]

Anywho...Amy is going to assemble during the week.

Saturday is addresses.

As I told a friend, while this is stressful. Seeing Seth's face as soon as he got back Mt. BAker when he assembled the first one, picking me up, holding me and saying how proud he is of me just makes it all worth it!

So far we (Amy, Amy, Curtis, Seth, Shannon, Nancy, Linda, and all others) are thinking 10am next Saturday and Amy and Curtis's we will be addressing until burnout. Finish and stamp on Sunday (Minus Shannon, she has to go back south Sat night).

It's coming together. It really is coming together. *sigh*