Don't Worry Be Happy

If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you. - Sister Mary Tricky

So often, we are afraid to risk being happy. Strange, itsn't it, thatbeing happy can be seen as a risk? There are all sorts of dangers involved.

We have discovered that there are people around us who are suspicious of happy people...they just can't be trusted. Then, there are others who seen openly to resent happiness and seem determined to squash it at every turn. After all, if one person is happy, doesn't this reflect upon those who aren't and, invisibly, put some kind of pressure on everyone else to be happy, too? At the very least, a happy person demonstrates that happiness is possible and, if it's possible, then isn't it available to everyone?

Then, there are our own qualms...it will do away...it won't last...it will make us vulnerable. By the time we get through all these issues, happiness has gone.

We do, however, as human beings have the potential and the right to be happy. Indeed, there's a rumor doing around that happiness is what the Creator had in mind for us.

My happiness is up to me. I don't have to make it happen. The potential is always there within me.

Judgement and Acceptance

I admit it! I can be selfish, inpatient, and whiney. I forget that “it’s not about me.”. I worry way too much about what could, should and might happen. I plan myself into a tight box too often. I can adopt an annoying “poor me” attitude over the littlest of things in hindsight. I can talk myself out of social situations because of my own awkwardness and shyness. I over analyze myself, and not in a helpful way. I can succumb to loneliness when in fact I know that I have people who care about me. I second guess myself. I feel guilty for asking for help.


I also know these to be true. I can be selfless and pathologically patient. I wear a shield of empathy and perspective with others who are struggling. I have faith and optimism in dire situations. My favorite memories are when I have been spontaneous. I pride myself in my perseverance and give myself credit for fighting big battles. I feel most confident when I reach outside of my comfort zone. I can laugh at myself and not take myself too seriously. I relish my alone time and time with dear friends. I know that I have intuitions that won’t guide me wrong. I’ve learned to reach out to others when I need help and have much gratitude for their assistance.

Often times, we forget that we possess the very strengths that are the antithesis of our weaknesses. It’s called being human - imperfect. I’m reminded that very little things in life are all black and white, or all-or-nothing. That includes me when I’m being one way or another. There’s this saying, “We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.” Humbly, this is a reminder to me that others are not all or nothing either. It is far better to judge others as having good intentions. I know that my behaviors don’t always reflect my good intentions. At risk of sounding corny, I am (we are) a human being not a human doing.

I pray that I can begin to be more mindful of being gentler with myself and others. We all are caring heavy burdens and are doing our best at this very moment.

The Resolution

THE RESOLUTION is a bold declaration of commitments that men are making to be faithful to God as the spiritual leader of their home.

 

Message

THE RESOLUTION

 

I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

 

I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.

 

I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.

 

I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.

 

I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.

 

I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.

 

I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.

 

I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.

 

I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

 

I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

 

I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

 

I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

 

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ---Joshua 24:15

Molano Easter 2012 - BABY ANNOUNCEMENT

 

Family was here to visit and we invited a bunch of friends out to the Upfront Theater for Improv Comedy night because we got a connection to get Seth and I pulled on stage.

They asked the crowd if there were any married people in the crowd. Of course they picked us to be part of the next improv. A re-enactment of how we met and our first date. They had a lot to work with since we met at Rumors (a "Gay" friendly bar) on Halloween LOL. It was hilarious.

Seth would dig a bell if the girl who acted me did something I would do or say and honk a horn if it wasn't something I would do or say. I would do the same for the guy playing Seth.

It was hilarious. The girls started dancing provocatively and Seth started dinging LOL I was like, whatever?! The guy playing Seth asked if I wanted to see his "cool tats" and I dinged that. Seth was like, whatever?!  Everything down to chatting at Starbucks until they kicked us out well past closing. Just a few examples.

Then they improv-ed 5 years later. The guy said "Wow, I can't believe all the adventures we've done....married....and travel." I dinged that. Then the girl who played me said "Yes, and to think, we're gonna have a baby now!" And we both started dinging!!!!!!

They turned and asked if it was true. We said yes. We had a bunch of friends there totally surprised. A few were crying the happiest of tears. A TOTAL SURPRISE!!! It was AWESOME!!!! Our friend Reatha who hooked us up with the improv opportunity also recorded it on her phone but is having trouble uploading it to YouTube. Finger's crossed. I hope we can get that posted ASAP.

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Mom and Dad found out the night before. Seth got home from work. As we sat down to dinner. Seth wanted to practice some Spanish he was learning. "Vivimos en Birch Bay. / We live in Birch Bay." "I was born in June. / Yo nací en el mes de junio." And then He said "We're having a baby in October. / Estamos teniendo un bebé en Octubre."

They are THRILLED!!!! Lots of phone calls afterwards.

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At work, I made little Easter Gift Bags. Each filled with 3 candy filled Eggs with the words "Hatching" "October" "22nd" on them :)

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This truly is a Holiday Baby! Finding out on Valentine's Day. 1st "emergency" ultra sound on Leap Day. Announcements on Easter. And Born near Halloween! 

 

10 simple, but beautiful things I know about love

After 33 years of life and growth in my newlywed marriage, l do know certain things, certain truths, about love and I know these things are simply beautiful:

1. There is no better feeling than love.
2. Love requires practice every day.
3. Enjoy the moment with your love; it’s the only one that is guaranteed.
4. Love will change you for the better.
5. Love brings both happiness and pain – and it’s from both the bond is created.
6. Scoreboards don’t work.
7. Love’s intent is to complement you; not complete you.
8. Loving yourself isn’t selfish; it’s required to make the relationship balanced and strong.
9. Let go to let love grow.
10. The way to lasting love comes through forgiveness.

There’s still more to learn about love :)

10 Things You Wish You Had Never Learned

True knowledge lies in knowing how to live. – Baltasar Gracin

At first glance this idea, to identity 10 things you wish you had never learned, may seem like negative or backwards thinking. Personal growth and self-awareness should only focus on the positive – right? However, you must first acknowledge what you want to change or heal before real growth can occur. We have all learned from the negative thoughts and experiences which have contributed to defining who we are today.

At times, we have learned to what amounts to be garbage about ourselves, our loved ones and about our role, identity and place in this world. There is no filter that has been built around us to sift through the trash we sometimes absorb.

Therefore, it is important to be your own filter. It is important to see what is working for YOU in YOUR life right now and to keep doing more of that. It is also important to recognize what is not working for you and do your best to rid yourself of this garbage.

What we think to be true; what we think we know; what we have learned can be counterproductive to our personal growth, success and happiness. Especially if what we have learned is keeping us from having the intimate relationships and personal satisfaction we deserve.

It has taken me my whole life to figure out what I wish I had never learned. I’m sure I will be adding to this list for many more years to come.

1. I wish I had never learned that I’m not worthy to have what I want.
2. I wish I had never learned that it’s waste of time to be spiritual and to worship.
3. I wish I had never learned how to be smoke and mirrors.
4. I wish I had never learned that I could change my situation by being perfect.
5. I wish I had never learned that expressing my opinion meant being a bitch.
6. I wish I had never learned that my value was determined by others or physical traits.
7. I wish I had never learned that being confident and secure was only a myth.
8. I wish I had never learned that sex equals intimacy/love/commitment/promise or a door to marriage.
9. I wish I had never learned that speaking up for my needs was a waste of time.
10. I wish I had never learned that I wasn’t enough.

THANK GOD for unlearning this garbage! 

What do you wish you have never learned?

I Learned 5 Things While Sick

1. No matter how hard you try, you cannot rock the same outfit three days in a row. Yes, I had zero energy to change. Yes, that equates to me sleeping, being and staying in the same yoga pants, tank, and hoodie. While it was cute, said person in cute outfit gets less cute as the days roll on. Don't judge me.

2. There’s never a good time to be sick. But, sometimes, the timing sucks more than your vaccuum cleaner. Seriously, after day 4 of cabin fever and wet-cat version of anxiety about driving in the winter storm of 2012 - the snow and ice melts and I get sick going into a 3 days weekend?! Could be worse, much worse, but damn!

3. There is no justice when it comes to ailments and health. You know those stories about the healthy person getting a heart attack? Or the person who never tried drugs or such getting into an accident? My situation’s not as bad, admittedly. But, dang. I've been a vegetarian since I was 15. I've never smoked - anything, to clarify. Well, there was that time when David Ball in high school helped me become a smoker. After coughing and complaining that it burned my throat, he said "Ah, that goes away after a while." "I said, "Forget this! And I'd rather spend my lunch money on Subway." So, yes. I have my glass of wine every other week or so. I avoid fast food. I guzzle water. We make homemade meals and pack our healthy lunches. I take vitamins and strive for my 7 hrs of sleep a night. I went as far as getting a flu vaccine this year. I'm active 6 days a week. I'm even part of TEAM AWESOME! Nope, zero justice when it comes to nasty snotty viruses.

4. The best way to get through pain and illness is to find as many distractions as possible. Especially useful when you have no appetite at all. My utmost favorite distraction this past week? Sleep, sleep, and more sleep. I don’t remember sleeping so much! When I’m awake, I indulged in: Men of a Certain Age. Elevation Church (thanks Kristin!). Movies. Google-ing, Online shopping. Tweeting, something apparently I started and abandoned in 2010. Researching and Blogging on my three, yes three, blogs. And Facebook. There was some reading once I was  able to stay awake for longer than an hour at a time. Oh, and I was constantly thankful that I didn't have trees around to fall on my house. SUPER thankful that we had heat and electricity!!! I was sending out prayers to my friends and family who were without and not sure when PSE would get them lit up again? Counting my blessings and praying for others was a good distraction too. 

5. Friends and family rock. Big time. I’ve received so many messages well wishes. Texts and facebook well wishes. No calls, thankfully because I was out of it and sounded like a man. I was really truly motivated by this (not the sounding like a man piece). You see, in my moments of cabin-fever-crazy-thinking-mode, I sometimes wondered if anyone would notice if I disappeared from this planet for whatever reason (alien abductions, serial killer finds me better suited in his freezer). I mean, I know my immediate family and Seth would care a lot. But, how about other people who don’t see me everyday? Those who interact with me primarily via social media? Or just at work? Or during 5Ks? Would they care? It was amazing to see that there are people who WOULD – and DO – care enough when I’m not well. And, if they care enough when I’m not well, then I’d like to think that they’re also the folks who would care if I do disappear. Yes, that’s a bit overly dramatic, I know. But, hey… When you're stuck at home for this long, not knowing what’s going on, your life views do get magnified a bit more than usual. Let's just say that I'm an odd duck too. So, I said that this #5 motivated me. It motivated me to express my love and concern more often. Not that I don't. But to be more aware of showing my love and concern to friends and family when they're, not only ill, but when they are well. As a friend of mine once said, the best of friends are the ones who are happy for your happiness. I have a lot of happy friends. So I best roll up my sleeves and up the HAPPY! :)